Becoming a mother

For many women, becoming a mother means their hopes and dreams have come true. They love feeling their baby move inside them. They feel a sense of achievement in giving birth. They love holding, touching, watching and smelling their baby. For others, these happy emotions are mixed with feelings of losing their old life – things like financial independence, career, spontaneity, and time with partner and friends. Single mothers and women with partners who work away also face

the job of caring for the baby alone, which can be daunting and exhausting. Mothers who decide to go back to work may also feel guilty about what they are missing in their baby’s life.

All these losses can be felt quite strongly, despite the joy a baby can bring. On top of everything, you may not be the “perfect mother” or have the “ideal baby” you imagined. If motherhood is not what you expected, it is easy to blame yourself or believe motherhood is not for you. However, it is important to remember that no one is perfect. 

 

Motherhood is an enormously challenging job!

Helpful expectations for mothers

Try to be realistic about what you expect of motherhood. Here are some things it may help to remember:

• There is no “right” way to deliver a baby.
• Mothers do not always fall in love with their baby right away.
• It may take some time after the birth (especially after a very long or difficult delivery).
• There will be good days and not so good days for every mother.
• There are many very big changes to adjust to and many mothers feel they are not coping at times. Parenting is a skill you learn.
• You will get more confident with your baby over time.
• Most people find the first 6-8 weeks the hardest.
• Breastfeeding is also something you learn. It will be easier for some mothers and babies than others. Mothering is very intense and unrelenting.
• You will benefit from “time out” for yourself to have a break and do something you enjoy.
• Don’t expect to do all the things you used to do while also caring for a newborn.
• Be prepared to let some things go for a while.
• Some babies are easier to settle and comfort than others. It may not be that anything you are doing is “wrong”.
• Many mothers struggle to find time for household tasks, like cooking and cleaning,
  especially in the early months. 
• Try to relax and enjoy your baby - they will grow up fast!