After-school activities

How can you help guide your children to the most enriching after-school activities? It helps first of all to think about the options.

Sometimes the choice for an appropriate outside activity comes from your own goals for your child. For example, if you want to use time after school to fill a gap in what is offered by the school, you might consider music lessons. If your child is struggling in a particular subject, tutoring might be a good idea. If your child needs to burn off energy or needs to be more physically active, you might want to look into an activity such as karate.

But the after-school activities that are the most fun for children usually emerge from their own interests. Be careful about urging your child toward some interest that you letting them bend to peer pressure. Ask yourself whether your child really loves this activity. If the activity is not something the child is even moderately good at, it can have a negative effect on his self-perception.

So listen to your child. Look in particular for persistent expressions of interest rather than something a child mentions once or twice. Figure out what sparked the interest. Was it a friend? Was it seeing the activity? Then ask yourself whether your child is physically old enough for the activity or what the benefits will be.

If a child doesn’t express a particular interest vocally, look for other clues. We know our children better than anyone else. As a parent, you have some indication of what your child might be interested. For example, for a child who keeps trying to reach the basketball hoop, mention the basketball team. Or if your child jumps into activities and then quits, allow such experimenting but don’t invest in the necessary equipment right away. For example, if your child decides she wants horseback riding or guitar lessons, borrow or rent or buy used items until you see a deep commitment.

And for the child who resists involvement in any activities at all, don’t push too hard. Some children are quite content being by themselves. Pushing your child to get out and do something is going to make him miserable. Just keep suggesting possibilities.

But, whatever you choose, do not overdo it.  Over scheduling can affect your family life, too, so consider the demands on your own time.

One way to let children try out different interests without too much commitment is to enroll them during school holidays. Many of these activities, which can run as short as a week, can be a good way to explore different interests during a time of year that’s free from the pressure of school demands.