Celebrate family

Family celebrations, such as holidays, anniversaries and birthday parties bring joyful family occasions for all — often the only time we get to see some family members. And when families get together, they talk. The stories may focus on today — or reminiscences of the past.

Family gatherings with relatives and loved ones may be more important than you may think. Do you sometimes consider that your family was the first school that you entered when you arrived on this earth? More importantly, family gatherings provides our children an opportunity to meet relatives, learn about the family ancestry, medical history, family values and relationships.  Developing positive relationships with family members actually plays an important role on just how successful and happy you might become later on in life. In addition, did you know that people with extended family connections tend to be more literate and often times reach out to get more education and better jobs? Family gatherings can often times be a lot of fun.

Most of the time, the older ones seem to benefit more as they become the centre of attraction particularly when one starts to tell his own stories. But what about the young ones trying to catch the attention of their older relatives? For the older ones, why no take a backseat, for a change, and let the little ones have their share of spotlight? They also deserve attention. 

For the children too

 Children need to be familiar with their family tree. Mentioning the names of their relatives is not enough and meeting them only once is not also doing them good. It will not create the kind of relationship one has to have with other relatives. Letting the children spend good times with other relatives constantly, helping them get along with others as well, produce good rapport with almost all members of family tree.

Children look up to their older relatives

 As children listen to the stories being narrated to them by older relatives, they get to understand each person comprising the family tree. What they hear gives them insights as to how they will live their lives later on and how they will handle challenging situations that may come their way. Older relatives may serve as their idols or models, who they can turn to when problems come up.

Time for older ones to welcome new generation

 During family gathering, children are too shy to approach other relatives particularly when it is their first time to meet them. Some hide at the back of their parents, others prefer to sit at the corners of the living room. They should not be ignored. Talking to them casually like asking about their interests, make them feel truly recognized and appreciated. But it should not end there. Children love to be in the center stage and they should be encouraged to be active during family gatherings. They may be asked to sing, dance or perform some acts that showcase their talents and skills. This may help children decide what they really want to do later in life.

Teach only good things to children

Since older relatives cannot be with the children all the time, they should be reminded of the kind words older relatives utter during conversations with them. If older relatives want the children to have good and bright future, they must bless the children always and treat them with tender, loving care. Since they are at a tender age, they go with the flow and mimic every action of older people. To ensure that only good acts are picked-up by the children, older relatives must behave properly in front of the children. As the children embrace this kind of actions and the good words that are instilled in their minds, they will posses an aura of success, confidence and power necessary to help them full fill their dreams.

The following are ideas to help celebrate family and encourage and save the precious flow of memories from your family. 

Record the Family

• Tape recorders, cameras, or video cameras are useful for recording a family. Practice using them. You should know how to use the equipment before you go.
  
• Don't be afraid to let your older children use the video equipment. They have a unique view of the world that will come through in their recordings.
  
• It is not necessary to sit interview-style with individuals in order to obtain information and memories. A video camera can be set on a tripod in a corner of the room and a tape recorder can be placed on a TV tray behind the dinner table, ready to catch the flow of conversation.
  
• You can't be everywhere at once, so purchase several disposal cameras that you can ask people to use and leave for you to develop.
  
• Don't be afraid to let the children take some of the pictures.
  

Family Pictures

• It's never too late to start an album of extended family pictures.
  
• Ask family members to have copies made (or allow you to do it) of some of their  pictures from past holiday or reunion events. These pictures can be displayed at future gatherings.
  
• Albums are available that will allow pages to be inserted in chosen sequence for easy inclusion of older photos.
  
• Have the children draw pictures of something important to them, like their houses, pets, friends. Include these in the album. The drawings might not seem like much right now, but in a few years everyone will enjoy looking back at them.
  
• Bring your genealogical photos of houses, of people.
  
• Don't show too many photos (or unrelated photos) at once.
  
• Everyone will become interested in viewing the photos and sharing their own memories. Allow the memories to flow freely.
  
• When the holidays are over, transcribe some of the stories for inclusion in the family album.
  

Family Tree

• Create large pedigree charts of direct lineage and family group sheets.
  
• Many computer programs have wall-size charts that are great conversation starters.
  
• One genealogist I know brings his laptop and printer so he can enter the data on new babies and print out their lineage back to the earliest known ancestor.
  
• Bring articles, stories, or books that you or others have written on the family. If possible, make several copies to pass around.
  

Stay in Touch 

• If you have access to a scanner and a word processor, send a letter to family members after the event. Include bits of interesting stories, family news, and some of the pictures, both old and new. The letter will be a wonderful addition to the album for future seasons.
  
• Do you have family who cannot make it to the family celebration this year, but they have Internet access? If you subscribe to an Internet service, set up a private chat room.
  

 
Children are a blessing. They readily obey someone who makes them special. They will be role models later on and will be the ones initiating family gatherings soon. Why not let them do a little of their share now so that their future family reunions will be fruitful, fun, loving and truly enjoyable ones too. All the older ones have to do is teach them the right way, to entertain all the guests present in the affair.

Celebrate family!

Children and skiing

As a parent, you want the best for your child. Below are few positive things that learning to ski can do for you child:

Exercise

First, exercise is important to a child’s health, and skiing offers something special. Each time your child practices, he or she will have healthy outdoor exercise. Children can become better coordinated and develop strong reflexes.

Competition

Second, ski racing can teach your child the positive attributes of competition. He or she will learn the benefits of good sportsmanship, as well as pride in accomplishments. Feeling proud and learning to get along with others are two important life lessons for every child.

Confidence

Third, children who participate in ski racing develop confidence in themselves. When self-esteem increases, it will proceed beyond this new sport. It is a healthy confidence that can affect every area of his or her life. From doing well in school to interacting with others, the confidence he or she learns will be beneficial in many ways.

Social Experience

Fourth, a ski racing team designed for children is a social experience. It is not simply about a sport, or winning. When your child enjoys this new activity with others who have the same interest, he or she will make new friends. They will find that their shared interest is the ideal foundation for new friendships.

Tip: Expert Instruction

Whether a parent skis, or is unfamiliar with the sport, parents are often not the best instructors. Whether you lack basic knowledge about skiing, or tend to become impatient, an experienced instructor is a better approach. Your child can learn the skills needed to succeed from an instructor who relates well to children. Your child will be coached with patience, and will learn at his or her own pace.

Cold weather

Children are even more vulnerable than adults to cold-weather and winter-related injuries.

Keep children cold weather proof

 

1. Dress children in layers.

If one layer gets wet, the child can remove it to keep moisture away from the skin. 
 

2. Choose warm fabrics.

Use fleece and wool garments instead of cotton clothes, which will not provide insulation if they get wet.

3. Cover extremities.

Warm boots and mittens are essential because extremities are most prone to frostbite. Make sure children cover their ears and nose and wear a hat to prevent significant heat loss from the head.

4. Limit time outside.

Children should come inside often to limit their exposure to the cold, and they should change out of wet clothing immediately.

Special tips when traveling

 

Children can also be at risk when traveling in the car during winter. Whether a long distance or just across town, be prepared for cold weather travel.
Just in case your car breaks down, or you are stranded, follow these suggestions for safe, warm car travel:

• Never leave children unattended.
• Keep a winter survival kit in the car with the following:
  • Blankets
  • Extra socks and gloves
  • Snacks
  • A first aid kit.
    
    

Myth: Cotton is a good insulator

 

Cotton may be comfortable, but can be downright dangerous outside in the cold. When cotton gets wet, it conducts heat away from the body at a much more rapid rate than other fabrics. Anything that can dampen your clothes, such as perspiration, rain, or falling in the water, can cause cotton to start robbing you of heat fast. A good substitute is polypropylene or some other synthetic substance that pulls water away from your skin.

Children and snowboarding

Children love snowboarding, whether it's fun with friends or floating down powder-covered slopes. Children can learn to snowboard at a young age (lessons generally begin at age 7, but motivated youth can start even younger). This article will help you to maximize their odds for success.

Keep them warm

Snowboarders have a bit different apparel requirements than skiers. Young riders can spend a fair amount of time sitting or kneeling in the snow, with hands making frequent contact with the wet stuff. The bottom line, however, is the same: to keep kids warm and dry.
Never underestimate the weather. A proper snowboard outfit consists of the following:
Jacket: A snowboard jacket is roomier than a traditional ski jacket—both for style and function. Articulated arms (with extra room in the sleeves) allow riders a full range of motion. Longer, hip-length jackets help keep little backs and bottoms warm in the snow and on the chairlift, and keep snow from seeping in at the waist.
Trousers: These should have extra waterproofing (and padding) on the bottom and knees since part of the fun is sitting in the snow while you put on bindings, waiting for a jump to clear or watching your friends do tricks. Snowboarding pants are designed to fit more loosely than ski pants. Key features are articulated knees, boot gaiters (to prevent snow from seeping in at the ankle) and insulation.
Long underwear: Either synthetic or merino wool base layers (make sure there is no cotton content) both do the trick. If you are going to buy only 1 set (top and bottom), go with a mid weight model. This next-to-skin layer shouldn't be too tight or restrictive.
Insulating layer: On colder days, children can wear a lightweight fleece or wool top over their underwear. Again, avoid cotton. Alternatively, one trick is to have your child wear 2 sets of long underwear (one a size larger than the other) under his or her insulated jacket.
Neck gaiter: Often overlooked, this handy item (right) protects the neck, ears and lower face from wind and sunburn. Merino wool or polyester fleece are best for soft, no-itch warmth and minimal odour after long-term wear. Wash neck gaiters frequently and let them air dry.
Socks: Stay away from cotton socks. Snowboarding socks should extend to just above the calf and be made of a blend of wool and synthetic. Children should have 2 pairs of snowboard socks but wear only 1 pair at a time. Rotate the pairs to prevent blisters; keep the extra one in your pack in case of wet feet.
Goggles: Medium-tint styles are best for all-condition wear. Alternatively, buy goggles and a helmet as a package—many are designed to work together so there's no gap on the forehead.
Mittens: Snowboarders have lots of hand-to-snow contact, so get well-insulated, waterproof/breathable mittens or gloves (mittens are warmer). Frequent manipulation of the bindings (you remove your back foot to skate across flat snow and to get on and off the chair) makes manual dexterity an issue. Some gloves and mittens have built-in wrist protectors to guard little wrists from getting torqued during a hard fall. Also helpful are internal hand warmer pouches. Young riders often get snow down their sleeves. Consider gloves or mittens with long wrist cuffs that can extend either over or under their jacket sleeves by several inches.
Warmers: These air-activated heat pouches can be a child's best friend on the slope. Many styles of gloves have warmer pockets, so you just shake the warmers and insert them into the pouches for all-day warmth. Foot warmers work well in most youth snowboard boots. Place the foot warmer inside the top of the boot, above the child's toes, so it provides warmth but doesn't bunch underfoot.
To ensure you don't leave anything at home, make a checklist to keep in the top pouch of your gear pack. 

Snowboard gear: rent or buy?

While it's usually more convenient to own gear, renting and season-long leasing are both smart options for children.
If you are just getting started (or plan to snowboard only a few times a season), consider renting. Great advantage of leasing or renting is that you usually get state-of-the-art gear that is tuned, waxed and ready to go.

Snowboard gear shopping tips

If buying gear makes sense for you, then consider this when shopping:
Helmet: Children should wear a helmet when snowboarding. The nature of the sport is that riders fall. Make sure the helmet fits well. Many youth helmets are designed with an inner harness that can be expanded or contracted for a custom fit. A helmet should also have a strap or attachment in the back to secure goggles.
Board: Smaller children should start with a soft, all-mountain board that reaches chest height, tail to tip. This shorter board is more easily to use, while a longer board floats more easily in powder. As they progress, consider models designed especially for terrain parks (ramps, rails, jumps). More advanced boards have reverse camber construction, allowing them to "pop" more on jumps and snow features. Child-specific boards usually range from 90cm to 146cm in length.
Boots: Beginners need warm, well-fitting boots. Make sure the laces and buckles are snug. Soft boots allow the child to flex and move on the board. The movement needed to turn is from heel to toe side—excess space inhibits turning ability; too little space results in pinched toes and heel blisters. Quality children's boots typically have a rip-and-stick strap that can be tightened or loosened to accommodate a growing foot.
Bindings: Childs' snowboard bindings are adjustable to accommodate several shoe sizes. Buy quality bindings, since a child can get several years out of 1 pair. If your child owns boots, bring them along when you rent, lease or buy a board-and-binding setup. It is critical that the bindings fit the boots and that your child can easily release and attach the bindings while wearing gloves.
Wrist guards: Wrist sprains are a common snowboarding injury. Snowboarding gloves are available with internal wrist guards, or you can buy wrist protectors separately. Children should learn to ball their hands in fists and punch the ground when they fall, but guards do lend support against a sprain. 

Tips for starting out

• Take a lesson: Lessons are the fastest way to learn skills and safety. There are a lot of "tricks" with snowboarding, from strapping on bindings to being aware of other skiers and riders on the mountain. Plus, children often respond better to an instructor than a parent. If the whole family is learning, put everyone in age-appropriate lessons, then consider an hour-long private lesson at the end of the day to work together on skills.
• Keep it fun: Pack snacks, take breaks and play games like follow the leader. Think of rewards (like treats or cookies) for good turns or an extra run.
• Not too steep: Make sure children are taught on appropriate terrain.
• Put your best foot forward: The first decision in snowboarding is which foot should be forward. A snowboard stance is either "regular" (which is left foot forward) or "goofy" (right foot forward). To decide, have your child run and slide on the snow and watch his or her foot position. Or have your young snowboarder stand with both feet together (on a step or sidewalk). Tell them to start walking and note which foot they step with first. Don't tell them the names of the stances until you determine their lead foot.
• Positioning the plates: Snowboard shop employees should be able to help with stance and binding position. If doing this yourself, know that beginners should have bindings set in a stance that is slightly wider than the shoulders. Most riders start with their bindings centered on the board or slightly setback toward the tail. The front foot is slightly angled toward the tip and the back foot should be straight or barely pointed toward the tail.
• Homework helps: Have your child practice putting on and taking off the board (especially using the back binding, as it has to be released to ride the chairlift and to skate across flat sections of the resort.) This is easiest done sitting down. Place the board on top of a big, fluffy pillow and help your child identify the tip and tail of the board, the toe and heel edge, and the lead and rear foot. This will help him or her to understand on-snow directions from an instructor.
• Stay safe: It's normal for riders to sit down when they aren't riding, but sitting in the middle of a slope exposes them to the very real danger of being hit by an uphill rider or skier. The safest place to sit is on the side of the run, taking care to be on the uphill side of a knoll or rise. Also, riders should never sit at the base (landing) of a jump.
• Ride with a partner and beware of tree wells: Kids love to pop in and out of trees, but tree wells (the loose-snow area next to a tree) must be avoided. Emphasize the buddy system of riding, especially on powder days.
• Skate on: Proper technique is to have the back foot push from behind the board. Do 2 pushes, then put your back foot right in front of the back bindings. It seems more natural to push from the front, but it's awkward and inefficient. Attach a stomp pad to the board to make skating and proper foot position easier.
• Basics: Loose bindings and boot laces are the common problems. Double-check boot laces and straps before they head off to the chair lift. Double-check the binding too (strap the binding on the front foot first, ankle, then the toe).
• Make a fist, save a wrist. Children should practice falling (always to the uphill side of the slope, if possible). If a downhill fall is inevitable, the best technique is to roll with the fall. If they can't catch themselves with their forearm, making a fist and "punching" the snow with a straight wrist (not the hand) helps to prevent injury.
• Soft snow means soft landings. Learn on a day when the snow is soft, not icy (although too much powder can make it difficult for a child). Learning to ride inevitably involves sitting down hard in the snow. On a day with fresh powder, chances are your child won't end up with a bruised tailbone.
• Stay alert: Teach children to always look uphill before they launch themselves down a slope and to remember that skiers and riders lower on the slope always have the right-of-way. 
  
  
  

Baby reflux

 

What is reflux?

Reflux is what happens when your baby's stomach contents come back up into his food pipe (oesophagus) or even into his mouth.

If your baby also has pain, poor growth or gets chest infections caused by him breathing the contents of his stomach into his lungs, he may have gastro-oesophageal reflux disease (GORD).

Babies get reflux because the muscular valve at the end of the food pipe, which acts to keep food in the tummy, hasn’t developed properly yet. This means that when your baby’s tummy is full, food and acid can come back up. This can cause him to bring up small amounts of milk (possetting) or even vomit.

During the first year of your baby's life, the muscular valve gradually gets stronger and better at keeping food down, so his chance of having reflux decreases. About half of babies will get some reflux during their first three months, but it’s only a real problem for a small percentage of these. By 10 months only about five per cent of babies have reflux. 

How will I know if my baby has reflux?

Your baby may bring up a little milk after a feed or have hiccups. He may occasionally cough after bringing up milk if a little has gone "down the wrong way".

This is normal and as long as your baby is otherwise well, you don't need to worry. Just make sure you always have a tissue or wash cloth to hand. 

Should I take my baby to see a doctor?

Bringing up a little milk after feeds is nothing to worry about. But speak to your child health nurse or doctor if you notice any of the following:

• your baby's reflux is happening so often that his weight gain is affected by it
• your baby cries excessively after feeds, as if he is in pain
• your baby coughs a lot after feeds.
  
  

Are there any treatments for reflux?

If your baby’s reflux is mild, and he’s still feeding well and isn’t too upset by it, then the following may help:

• hold your baby upright for up to 20 minutes after each feed
• try giving your baby smaller but more frequent feeds
• burp him every two or three minutes during feeds.
  

If you breastfeed your baby, you may need to stop drinking cow’s milk or having food or drinks containing cow’s milk. Or if your baby is formula-fed ask your doctor about prescribing him a hypoallergenic formula for a couple of weeks to see if it helps.

If there is doubt about the diagnosis of reflux, then your doctor may refer your baby to a paediatrician.

Your baby may also be referred to a paediatrician if:

• there is blood in your baby’s vomit
• your baby becomes anaemic (he doesn’t produce enough red blood cells)
• your baby has persistent coughing or frequent chest infections
• your baby begins to refuse feeds
• your baby is having difficulty swallowing.
  

Remember that most babies will bring up a little milk after feeding, and without complications. Reassure yourself that things will get better as your baby grows.

Divorce - how to tell children?

Are you prepared to tell your children about your upcoming divorce or separation? While the conversation will be difficult, it's also an opportunity to let them know, first and foremost, that you love them, and to demonstrate that – as a family – you’re going to meet their needs and answer their questions.

Talk with your former partner before you tell the children about the divorce

For the sake of your children, put aside the hurt and anger you may be feeling, so that you can make decisions together about the details you’ll need to tell your children. If you don’t have this conversation beforehand, you may end up having it in front of or through your children, which wouldn't be fair to them. If it’s extremely difficult to speak with one another, consider using the services of a or counselor, or invite someone you both trust to help you work out the details.

If at all possible, both parents should be present when telling the children

This sends an important message to your children that you’re both capable of working together for their benefit. In addition, you'll want to tell all of the children at one time. It’s important that each child hear this news directly from mom and dad; not from the sibling who heard it first. If your children are different ages, plan to share the basic information at the initial gathering, and follow-up with the older children during a separate conversation.

Remain calm and avoid blaming

The manner in which you present this news to your children will, in large part, affect the degree of their anxiety and whether they anticipate a positive outcome for themselves. If the meeting becomes a screaming match, your kids will be far more unsettled about what is happening. Instead, avoid the tendency to assign blame or say whose “fault” this is. To the extent that you can, try to incorporate the word “we” when you’re explaining the decisions that have been made.

Provide a general reason for what is happening

It is not important, or even appropriate, that you provide specific details about why you are planning a divorce. However, your children will want to know why this is happening. Older children will recognize that this is a huge life change, and they will weigh that change against the reason you give them. So while you don’t want to share details of a personal nature, be prepared to give some type of general explanation.

Provide specific details about the changes your children can expect

Your children will want to know where they’re going to live, with whom, and what about their lives is going to change. You can help your children to be prepared for these changes by being honest about what you know and what you don’t know.

Provide specific details about the parent who is leaving the home

The more you can tell your children about where the departing parent will be living and when they will be seeing him or her, the better. They’ll need to know, right away, that they will be able to maintain a quality relationship with this parent, even though they won’t be living under the same roof.

Reassure the children of your unconditional love

Your children will need lots of reassurance that the divorce is not their fault. Specifically tell them that nothing they did could have caused -- nor prevented -- what is happening. In addition, make sure both parents collectively and individually convey their unconditional love through words and actions. Avoid making long-range promises about an uncertain future. Instead, stick with the assurances you can make for the present time and be generous in sharing your hugs and affection.

Be sensitive to how the children react to this news

What you’re telling them may be completely unexpected, and will most assuredly change their lives. Try to be as understanding of no reaction -- which is a reaction -- as you would be if the children were in tears or extremely angry. Your children may not know how to express their intense emotions appropriately, and it may be some time before they can articulate their feelings.

Welcome their questions

Most likely, the children will have many questions. To the extent that you can, be honest and clear in your responses. If you don’t know the answer to a question, tell them that. Also, realize that this conversation will unfold in many parts. After you’ve told the children about the divorce or separation, expect to revisit the topic many times as new questions and concerns arise.

Give them time to adjust to the news

It will take time for your children to adjust to this news. It is a huge change, and while you may be confident in the hopeful future you envision for them, it will take some time for them to see that future play out. In the meantime, be patient with their needs and make the effort to be a steady presence in their lives.

Is my child gifted?

All children have unique strengths and talents. However some children have particularly advanced or well developed skills and abilities in one or more areas. Such children may be referred to as gifted and talented. 'Gifted' refers to children with high potential (basically due to their inheritance) while 'talented' means that they display skills which are advanced when compared to other children of their age.

What makes a child gifted and talented?

Giftedness is due to a combination of factors including what the child inherits genetically, the development of the child before birth, and the nurturing of the child.

• Giftedness is hard to define, and not surprisingly, a number of definitions of giftedness exist.
• It is generally accepted that a gifted child would have the potential to perform at a level that is significantly beyond that of the majority of other children of the same age, in one or more skill areas such as language, problem solving, physical or interpersonal skills.
• A gifted child may have the potential to become, for example, a great artist, thinker or athlete.
  

A gifted and talented child not only has this potential, but is developing the skills to perform at this advanced level.

• Through their interactions with others and with their environment, they are becoming much more able than other children to do some things.
• For example, they may be able to engage in very 'adult' conversation at a very young age, or hit a tennis ball much harder and more accurately than expected.
  

The concept of intelligence has generally been narrowly defined.

• Often it seems to refer to only those skills that are needed to succeed within formal education, such as number and language skills.
• Skills that enhance success in life, such as the ability to make friends, being able to persist with a task and being reliable are not elements that are measured in formal assessments of intelligence.
  

Similarly, while giftedness has traditionally been associated with significantly advanced intellectual development, it is now recognised that such a perception of giftedness is far too narrow, as children can be gifted in many different areas. These include:

• Verbal/language (eg. reading, writing and speaking ability)
• Logical and mathematical (eg. number, classification and problem solving ability)
• Visual and performing arts (eg. drawing, painting, musical ability)
• Body/movement/psychomotor ability (eg. dance, athletic ability)
• Interpersonal (eg. communication, leadership ability)
• Intrapersonal (eg. reflective, self sufficient ability)
  

A child may be gifted and talented in one of these areas, or in many areas. 

How do I know if my child is gifted?

To be recognised as gifted and talented, a child must have the actual, or potential, ability to perform at a level that is significantly beyond other children of the same age. But what might this look like in practice?
As a guide, gifted and talented children are expected to be developing skills well ahead of those expected at their chronological age in at least one area. For example, a three-year-old would be able to talk using the more complex language of a 4 to 6 year old, or a six-year-old would be able to read as well as most eight-year-olds, and so on.
Although forms of giftedness may vary considerably between children, research shows that young gifted children may show a number of the following skills and abilities. 

Cognitive (thinking) skills

• Ability to master a new skill with unusual speed
• Quick and accurate recall, and ability to recall skills and information presented in the past
• Remembering and making connections between past and present experiences
• A well advanced sense of humour
• Increased alertness to features in the environment
• Exhibiting deeper knowledge than other children of the same age
• Being resourceful and creative, and improvising well in play.
  

Learning style

• Great curiosity, and desire to learn
• High level of motivation in areas of interest
• Being bored easily and becoming frustrated quickly if not challenged
• An ability to concentrate for extended periods in areas of interest
• Generally have advanced planning skills for their age
• Using unusual or imaginative ways of doing things
• Unusually intense interest and enjoyment when learning new things.
  

Motor (physical) abilities

• Development of particular motor skills earlier than other children of same chronological age.
  

Speech and language skills

• Well developed word knowledge and language skills compared to other children of the same age
• Creative use of language - for example, able to make up complex songs or stories, and having an advanced sense of humour.
• Able to adapt and vary their language to match the understanding of older or younger children and adults
• Able to understand and carry out complicated instructions for their age
• Reading, writing, or using numbers in ways that are advanced for their age.
• Advanced play interests and behaviours.
  

Social skills

• Sensitivity to the needs or feelings of others
• Use of verbal skills to handle conflict or to influence another child's behaviour
• Often will organise and direct social and learning activities; may be seen as 'bossy'
• Often seek out and enjoy the company of older children and adults
• May get on better with older children rather than children of their own age
• May be able to take on responsibilities usually given to considerably older children
• Often demonstrate an early interest in social issues involving injustices
• May have unrealistically high expectations of self and others, which may lead to frustration.
  

Visual and spatial skills

• Advanced visual and spatial abilities; for example with puzzles, building and construction materials, drawing, design and/or painting
  

While these skills and abilities may be useful as an initial guide as to whether your child is gifted, formal assessments for giftedness need to be more comprehensive, and generally require some kind of standardised psychological and/or developmental testing carried out by a specifically trained professional (such as a psychologist or doctor). 

Parenting and brain development

The human brain takes time to develop. By birth, the brain has developed the main functions necessary to life – breathing, keeping your heartbeat steady, sucking, sleeping. The rest of the brain takes years to develop.

 

Knowing more about your child’s developing brain is a good way to understand how children think, feel and behave. Young children have limited ability to think and be reasoned with – they can’t link their feelings, thoughts and behaviour in their early years. The sections of the brain responsible for these areas are not ‘switched on’ in early childhood.

Understanding how children’s brains develop gives us insight into the questions parents often ask….WHY?
Why do they do that?
Why don’t they listen?
Why do I have to say the same thing over and over?

The developing brain 

 

Genes and environment interact at every step of brain development but play very different roles. Genes are largely responsible for the ‘basic wiring plan’ of the brain. Experience is responsible for fine tuning and strengthening connections within the brain. 
 
Our brains are continually changing in response to our lived experience. Children’s brains are more impressionable or ‘plastic’ in the early years. However, the brain remains plastic throughout life, shaping and reshaping, as we continue to adapt to new experiences and learning.

The brain is made up of many parts or regions that all do different things. Neurons are the ‘wires’ that connect the different areas of the brain. The number of connections and how they are organised influences how we make sense of our experiences, understand relationships, remember things and learn. 
 
Different parts of the brain develop at different ages and in a set order. Thus different kids of experiences are important at different ages to strengthen each part of the brain. 
 

You are the active sculptor of your child’s growing brain

 

Young brains are very sensitive to experience. Early experiences and environments have a very strong influence on the development of children’s brains. This is why families help shape the biological structure of children’s brains.  Supportive, caring and consistent relationships between children and their parents are the key to healthy brain development. 
 

Fostering healthy brain development

 

Touching, holding, comforting, rocking, singing and talking to young children provides the necessary stimulation for their growing brains.

• Talk and read to your child from infancy.
  
• Provide lots of opportunities for repetition and practice as your child acquires new skills. This helps to strengthen connections in the brain.
  
• Play with children as much as you can.
  
• Encourage children to do physical activities, like tumbling, riding a bike, playing with a ball, jumping and running.
  
• Support children to be hopeful and optimistic.
  
• Establish consistent routines.
  
• Encourage and praise your child as they experiment with new experiences.
  
• Be realistic about what children can do at different ages. Don’t set them up to fail.
  
• Help your child to take small steps and experience success.
  
• Don’t criticise a child for failing, praise their efforts.
  
• Prepare young children for change.
  
• Allow children to engage in new experiences at their pace, not yours.
  

Words can hurt

The way we talk to and act with children influences how they feel about themselves.

Our behaviour often speaks louder than words. What are you saying to your child? The things we say to children act like a mirror, reflecting back to children ideas about who they are and what they will become.

Hurtful words can last a lifetime. As a parent you may sometimes do or say things to your child that goes against your better judgement. Generally children are strong enough that occasional hurtful or negative comments have no lasting impact. However, the more often we communicate negative messages to children through our words and actions, the more they will come to believe them.

Listening to children

 

• Listening to children tells children they are important.
  
• Spend time with children listening to their point of view.
  
• Sometimes children do not speak because they are not given the opportunity. Try to make sure there is space in your family for everyone to be heard.
  
• Listening means not only hearing the words but working out the feelings behind the words.
  
• Listen to the things that are not said. For many, behaviour speaks louder than words. What is your child trying to tell you?
  
• Be a patient listener. Allow your child time to tell his or her story. Don't jump in before the story is finished. Don't finish children's sentences.
  
• Be an enthusiastic listener. Share in your child's excitement.
  
• Help children to express their thoughts and feelings by helping them to find the words or other ways to communicate with you.
  
  
  

When both parents work

Balancing the often competing demands of work and family when both parents work can be challenging. Careful consideration and planning for your family and children’s needs is important and can alleviate some of the stress associated with a busy work and family life.

Choosing the form of child care for your child whilst you are at work is one of your most important considerations. If you have preschool children, choosing the form of child care to best suit you and your child is crucial. If you have school age children, they may need care before or after school. There are many types of care available, especially for preschool children including extended family, care by others in a home environment and different types of centre based care.


Try to choose the type of care for your child together. Think about who will do the drop off and pick up of your child from child care or school. Talk about who has the most flexibility in their job, who is able to adjust working hours to accommodate the child’s needs. If only one parent is able to do this then what is the other parent able to do to “share the load” of parenting and family tasks.


Caring for sick children can become a huge stress when both parents are working. It is inevitable that children become ill. It is useful to have one or two other adults, perhaps family members, who can be on standby to take over the care of the children when ill.


When both parents work, each parent needs to contribute equally to the care of the children and the running of the house. Both parents need to spend time together as a couple, spend time apart and spend time as a family.


Children need to feel a sense of belonging in the family, and that are loved unconditionally. When both parents work, sharing household tasks is important. Resentment can build up if one parent feels they have the responsibility for all the household chores. Older children can assist in the chores, perhaps the whole family works on the house for several hours on a Saturday morning leaving the rest of the weekend free for family and individual activities.


In a family where both parents work each parent needs “me” time, when the other parent has the responsibility of the care of the children. This allows time to spend on an interest or activity or just have a break.


When both parents are working it can be difficult to find time to be together as a couple. Some parents feel this is another time they have someone else looking after their children instead of being with the children themselves. Parents also need time together to enjoy each other’s company and catch up on adult time and activities.

Children who snore

Many if not most children snore on occasion, and about 10 percent or more snore on most nights.

Snoring is a noise that occurs during sleep when the child is breathing in and there is some blockage of air passing through the back of the mouth. The opening and closing of the air passage causes a vibration of the tissues in the throat. The loudness is affected by how much air is passing through and how fast the throat tissue is vibrating. Children who are three years or older tend to snore during the deeper stages of sleep. Primary snoring is defined as snoring that is not associated with more serious problems such as obstructive sleep apnea syndrome (OSAS), frequent arousals from sleep, or inability of the lungs to breathe in sufficient oxygen. Loud and regular nightly snoring is often abnormal in otherwise healthy children. Sometimes it is a sign of a respiratory infection, a stuffy nose or allergy; other times it may be a symptom of sleep apnea.


About one to three percent of children not only snore, but also suffer from breathing problems during their sleep. When snoring is accompanied by gasps or pauses in breathing, the child may have OSAS. Children’s muscles normally relax during sleep, but they can become so relaxed that the airway is narrowed or obstructed and sufficient air cannot pass through. This interferes with breathing, causing a pause in breathing that can last only a few seconds or as long as a minute. The brain is then alerted and signals the body to make an effort to start breathing again. This effort results in the child gasping or snorting, waking up and starting to breathe again. Because of these repeated arousals to breathe, the child may not get enough quality sleep and is likely to be sleepy or overtired during the day.


Contributing factors to sleep apnea may be obesity, allergies, asthma, GERD (gastroenterological reflux disorder), an abnormality in the physical structure of the face or jaw as well as medical and neurological conditions. In children, the most common physical problem associated with sleep apnea is large tonsils. Young children’s tonsils are quite large in comparison to the throat, peaking at five to seven years of age. Swollen tonsils can block the airway, making it difficult to breathe and could signify apnea.


Undiagnosed and untreated sleep apnea may contribute to daytime sleepiness problems including difficulties at school. Following a night of poor sleep, children are also more likely to be hyperactive and have difficulty paying attention. These are also signs of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Apnea may also be associated with delayed growth and cardiovascular problems.


During the night, children with sleep apnea may

• Snore loudly and on a regular basis
• Have pauses, gasps, and snorts and actually stop breathing. The snorts or gasps may waken them and disrupt their sleep.
• Be restless or sleep in abnormal positions with their head in unusual positions.
• Sweat heavily during sleep. 
  
  

During the day, children with sleep apnea may

• Have school and social problems
• Be difficult to wake up
• Have headaches during the day, but especially in the morning
• Be irritable, agitated and aggressive
• Be so sleepy during the day that they actually fall asleep or daydream
• Speak with a nasal voice and breathe regularly through the mouth.
  

If you suspect your child may have symptoms of sleep apnea, talk to your doctor who may refer you to a sleep specialist and/or an overnight sleep study. This study will record the child's sleep, brain waves, body movements, heartbeat, breathing, arousals and noises to determine a diagnosis. Sleep specialists have special training in sleep medicine and can help to determine if your child has primary snoring, sleep apnea or another problem. They can then offer you the most appropriate treatment.