Life lessons

As a parent I like to take advantage of any opportunity to teach my children life lessons. I feel the more prepared they are for the challenges and joys that life brings, the easier they will be able to cope and deal with what may come their way. It is after all our responsibility as parents to teach them about the world we live in.  This text is for Helena and Stefan, my two children.

Have I learned half of the things I need to learn? Or done half of the things I need to do while I’m here? Life lessons that everyone should share with children:

• Other people matter

More than any other truth I have discovered, other people matter. Make sure that you treat everyone – everyone! – like they matter. Because they do. And your life and their life will be better because you did.

• Try new things

The world is a magical place if you’re open to exploration and new experiences. Try new places, new activities, books or sports. So long as it doesn’t clash with your moral compass, try new things and be amazed by what you discover.

• Appreciate failure

When you get something wrong, or when something doesn’t work out, be glad you tried. Learn from it. Try not to repeat the failure again. And go and be better because you tried.

• Relationships are hard

To make a relationship work, you have to work. Hard. But if you put the hard work in – together – you won’t regret it.

• The burden of discipline is far lighter than the burden of regret

It can be hard to study or practise. But what can be harder is getting your exam results and knowing that with a little more discipline, you could have done that much better. Or being good at something but quitting only to see one of your friends persist and succeed because of that discipline. Work out what you want and work hard to get it. The discipline will pay off. And while it can be a burden, it’s not nearly as heavy a load to carry as the burden of knowing you could have but didn’t.

• Be where your feet are

Being in the here and now brings joy. Right here. Right now. Now is all you really have – so live it.

• Only buy what you can afford

Credit cards and loans and ‘interest free’ make life easy now, but they make it harder later. Use your own money, rather than the bank’s money. Plus, the accomplishment of saving up and paying in full is a great feeling of accomplishment.

• Judge intention, not behaviour

We want people to judge us by what we meant, not what we did. Everyone has struggles and everyone makes mistakes … but nearly everyone wants to do the right thing – whatever they perceive that to be.

• Tell the truth – even when it’s going to hurt

Lies undermine trust and relationships. There is no greater compliment than to be trusted, not only by those who don’t know you well, but particularly by those who do.

• Try – even when you don’t think you can

The world is full of stories about people who shouldn’t have been able to do what they have done. But they’ve done it because they had a vision of it, and they tried. Whether you want to be a doctor, or a photographer, or an astronaut, go for it. You’ll be amazed by the power that comes from starting something.

• Do your assignments a week early

You won’t believe the peace of mind that comes from being ready before you need to be.

• Forgive fast

Some hurts can be hard to let go of. But forgive fast, and move on. It will free you from the burden of carrying heavy baggage that weighs you down.

• Be grateful

Grateful people are happier, healthier, have more friends, are more successful. Life is great when you’re grateful. Say thank you. Even – no, especially – when people don’t expect it. You’ll make their day, and yours. Be in awe of the ocean and mountains, of sunrises and sunsets. I don’t think anything can improve your life like gratitude. Count your blessings. Make a list. Be amazed.

• Laugh

Life is to be enjoyed. Remember to show it.

• Do what makes life meaningful

It’s nice to do fun things. It’s great to do things that make us feel good – boost our pleasure. But doing things that are meaningful will bring you more happiness than all of the fun and pleasure in the world. So find what makes life meaningful for you and follow that path. Hint: meaning is usually found in doing things for other people.