Single parenting

Single parents and their children can face challenges, but there are also positive aspects for parents and children.

Being a single parent can be difficult but rewarding. Parents may be single by choice or circumstance. There are different reasons why a person becomes a single parent. They may choose this lifestyle, they may have been in a relationship which they left, or perhaps their partner has died or left them. The challenges faced by the single parent vary according to their circumstances, but there are also common experiences that are shared by most single-parent families. So, how single parenting differs from dual parenting?

Single parenting differs from dual parenting in many ways, but the most common difference is the way in which the parent interacts with the child. In dual parenting families, the mother and father usually decide together how to run the household, while in single parent households, issues such as holidays or major family purchases may be more likely to be decided with the children. Other common differences include:

• Children of single parents may have more duties and responsibilities around the home from an earlier age, simply because there isn't another adult around.

• The single parent may feel stressed because they try to be the perfect parent and the sole breadwinner when there are only 24 hours in every day.
• The need for ‘extra hands’ around the house may sometimes reduce the time a child can take part in typical child activities such as hanging out with friends or playing.

• If a child is used to having a near-equal say in the household, they may clash with teachers and other authority figures who expect unquestioning obedience.

• The child may not appreciate that their parent needs adult companionship at times.

• The child may feel torn between their two parents and feel they must ‘pick sides’ – this is especially the case if the parents are hostile towards one another.
• It can be hard work to be the only disciplinarian in the house – you may feel like you’re the ‘bad guy’ all the time.
  
• You may feel grieved if your child envies friends with two parents at home.
  
• New relationships may be difficult, particularly if your child is jealous.
  
• A lonely parent may cling to their children for support and company, making it harder for the child to eventually leave home.
  

• The demands of income earning, child raising and housework mean the single parent may have little or no time for themselves.

For a single parent who is very busy or craves some free time  -  in order to have the loving and reliable childcare, your nanny needs to be happy with her job. Nannies will frequently talk to each other about what is normal or customary in nanny jobs, and a positive experience is sometimes driven by perceptions. As a single parent you must be committed to having the nanny achieve a win-win working relationship. Simply, you will have to insure a positive experience for both you and your nanny. 

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