www.KIDSINguide.com

London’s Indispensable Guide for Families!

KIDSINguide.com is London's most comprehensive guide for kids' activities, things to do with children, family party venues, members clubs and what's on for children and families. 

There is a dedicated area for tourists visiting London for a few days, including a map of things to do, parks and museums to visit, and best child-friendly restaurants! You can view here http://www.kidsinguide.com/london/day-trip/.

They select and hand pick the very best activities and events around London, so that you can spend less time searching and more time with your kids! 

Proud to announce our launch in New York and Singapore in the coming months! Stay tuned!

www.KIDSINguide.com

Dealing with shyness

 

Identify the nature of your child's shyness.

 

Children are shy in different ways for different reasons. Understanding the nature of your child's shyness will help you develop a program geared towards your child's specific needs. Is your child shy in groups? At parties? Meeting new people? In novel situations? Or, pretty much everywhere? Does your child have trouble eating in public? Playing with other children? Making phone calls? Or, is your child only shy when s/he has to make a presentation in front of the class at school? Knowing the nature of you child's shyness will help you identify the specific skills your child needs to be more at ease in social situations.

Sometimes, though, children struggle with more than shyness. There are a number of conditions that masquerade as, or can lead to, shyness---many of which require professional attention. Some children struggle with non verbal disabilities or Asperger’s Syndrome which interfere with their ability to read social cues and understand how to enter and exit play or answer questions (at an appropriate level), other children struggle with extreme anxiety, while still others have difficulty establishing emotional bonds with other people. The good news is that most of these conditions benefit from supportive structured environments that emphasize the development of social skills, strategies for  anxiety, impulses and the ability to both read and relate to other people on an emotional level. The specific nature of the social skills and treatment strategies, however, is likely to vary with your child's needs. 

Role model confident social behaviour.

 

Children learn by watching the people around them. Parents that means you! With time, your ability to approach others and put them at ease can help to put your child at ease, too.

       Do . . .

·       Go first in social situations. Be the first person to say "Hi," to introduce yourself or to strike up conversations.

·       Make a list of the kinds of things you would like your child to feel comfortable doing (e.g., talking with other children, asking for help from store clerks, making phone calls, etc) and make a point of doing these things in front of your child.

·       Be friendly. Routinely smile and greet the people you see as you go through your day.

·       Compliment others often. Notice what you like about people (friends, family and strangers alike

·       Make an effort to help other people when you see they are in need. Open doors for people, pick things up when people drop them or offer to carry things for friends.

·       Role model taking risks and learning from them. Help your children learn by making positive comments about how you felt while you did things. Things like: "I thought that would be harder than it was." "That wasn't much fun, but I'm glad I did it and got it out of the way. At least now I don't have to worry about it." Or, "That didn't go as well as I thought it would, but at least I know what to do next time."

       Don't . . .

·       Embarrass your child in public.

·       Criticize people in public.

·       Berate yourself for having failed when you try things and they don't turn out the way you would like.

·       Berate your children when they make a mistake.

But what if you're shy yourself?

 

And there's a good chance you are--an almost 50/50 chance. It's hard to role model socially confident behavior for your children when you're struggling with shyness yourself. All you can do is your best.

·       Take advantage of opportunities to practice being assertive in front of your children by asking how much longer it will be before you're seated at restaurants or asking sales clerks how an appliance works.

·       Make an extra effort to practice social skills with your children at home . There's a good chance that teaching handshakes, introductions and conversation skills to your children will enhance your skills as well.

Fortunately, role modeling social skills for your children--even if they're in the privacy of your own home-- can help your child improve his/her social skills and is likely to improve yours, as well.  

Teach social skills early.  

When it comes to social skills, the earlier you begin teaching them the better. Arrange play dates for your children when they are young and seek out safe places for your children to interact with others and practice social skills as they get older (e.g., volunteer work, tutoring younger children, clubs and other structured activities with supportive group leaders).

·       Teach your children how to enter and exit groups and how to read other people's signals

·       Help your children understand what it takes to make and keep a good friend.

Emphasize creative problem-solving.   

As shy people, we tend to worry a lot. We're afraid things won't turn out the way we want them to and we're crushed if they don't. It's hard for us to see that failure is a natural part of learning. Instead, we do everything in our power to avoid it and we kill our creativity in the process.

One of the most important things you can teach your children is that failure provides the feedback we need to become good at the things we choose to do.

If at first we don't succeed, try again. The ability to see our problems as challenges and failures as feedback---as information about what we need to do next---strengthens our confidence by reminding us that just because we didn't succeed at first, doesn't mean we won't succeed in the end. Teach your children to think creatively. Show them how to brainstorm--how to generate more than one solution for their problems. Help them come to see themselves as scientists whose job is to test their solutions until they find the best one. Prepare them for disappointment, but teach them to persevere until they find an answer that works. 

Build creative problem-solving into your child's life.

·       Get in the habit of generating multiple solutions to each problem. Three is usually enough when you're in a hurry.

·       Refrain from evaluating solutions until you're finished generating them. Evaluations shut down the creative process by making people defensive.

·       When possible, test each solution empirically. Try going home from the store four different ways to see which is fastest.

·       Reward you children for trying as much you reward them for succeeding.

Help your child see that life is process of steps (and risks) of one size our another that - over time - lead to success. 

Your job as a parent is to monitor and periodically adjust those steps to determine the size that's best for your child. And, if as a parent you do a really good job, you may find that, with practice, your child is able to raise the size of his/her steps to higher and higher levels.

Help your child identify talents and hobbies that make him/her feel special. The more things we do, the more interesting we become to ourselves and other people---our self-esteem grows, we have more things to talk about and, if nothing else, the activities give our brains a little exercise.

Encourage your children to develop passions early in life.

 

Even if they don't like the first few things they try, the journey will make them richer for the experience. And don't worry if they find a passion you don't like (assuming it's not dangerous), most children will grow out things with time. Just know that the more things your children do in life, the more things they will have to share with other people and the easier it will be for them to connect. For a shy child, the ability to connect with another child is one of the greatest gifts they can receive.

Getting shy children to do things can be difficult.

 

If your child felt comfortable doing things, s/he wouldn't be shy. But because s/he is shy, odds are your child avoids precisely those things that could help him/her overcome his/her shyness.

·       Identify activities that take advantage of your child's strengths. Is your child athletic? Artistic? Neat and organized? Good at math? Loves to read? Good at building things? What holds his/her attention? What is least likely to discourage him/her? And find activities that take advantage of those strengths.

·       If your child is very shy and unwilling to attend group activities, start with solitary activities at first - like music lessons, arts and crafts projects out of book. Then, as your child gains more confidence, arrange opportunities for him/her to get guidance from other adults and gradually, with time, to share his/her interest with children his/her own age.

·       Encourage your child to share his/her expertise with others by performing, teaching, showing his/her work or simply describing what s/he is doing to others. Many children benefit from teaching their skill to children who are younger than them.

·       Seek out activities that offer an opportunity for growth and increased interaction with children his/her own age or learning to play an musical instrument might start off as a solitary exercise, but lead to your child's playing in the school band.

Help your child learn to manage his/her emotions.  

 

We know that the more we pay attention to other people's behaviour, the more likely they are to repeat that behaviour in our presence - independent of whether we like their behaviour or not.  And so it is with children---the more attention you pay to your child's behaviour, the more rewards they will derive from it. Unfortunately, that means the comfort you show your child when s/he is upset may backfire, teaching your children to show, if not feel, more of the upset you were meaning to squelch.

So, what can a parent do?

Well, for starters, don't stop comforting your child!   Not only would that be cruel, but all of us need comfort from time to time, adults and children, as well. Simply make an effort to evaluate the effects of your comfort on your child's behaviour to determine when your comfort is helping and when it is hurting. And, should you decide that some of your comfort hurts, simply shift the nature of your support from comforting your child to helping him/her learn to cope. 

Seek out opportunities to reward (i.e., praise, pay attention to) your child's coping efforts no matter how small.

Avoid comforting every little upset your child experiences.

Suggest solutions and reward your children's efforts.

Encourage your children to find their own solutions to problems (see teaching creative problem-solving above) and acknowledge their ability to so.

Let your children work out some of their problems on their own, even if they are uncomfortable doing it. Keep a watchful eye and don't intervene unless necessary.

Teach stress management techniques from an early age.

Teach tolerance and respect for others.

 

Shy people are notoriously judgmental, both of themselves and others. The more judgmental you are as a parent, the more opportunity your children will have to learn to internalize those judgments even though you may have intended to direct them at someone else. When shy children overhear you criticising other people's hair, wardrobe, job, lifestyle or personality, they assume that's what everyone does criticise others. They learn that going out in public means you will be continuously judged. What's more, by judging other people harshly, your child may come to believe that your are judging him/her harshly as well. 

Modelling tolerance and respect for others, despite their shortcomings, teaches children that people don't have to be perfect to be worthwhile.

·       Teach your child what is right about people, not just what is wrong.

·       Compliment others often.

·       When it comes to using criticism around shy children, remember . . . "less is more!" 

It's fair to say that no one strategy is right for all people at all times.

 

Not all people, parents included, understand how shy children feel. They mistake a child's anxiety for a sign weakness, lack of motivation and intellectual disability to name just a few. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that shy children are never lazy or never have intellectual challenges. It's just that most shy children are just that - children. They want to fit in. They want to belong just like other children, but their anxiety not their motivation or intellectual capacity gets in the way.

Seek qualified professional help as necessary. 

 

While many children outgrow their shyness, many others carry it forward with them into adulthood. If your child is struggling, particularly if your child is challenged by a non-verbal learning disability or if you have a history of anxiety disorders, depression or substance abuse in your family, consider getting professional help. The right support can help your child's shyness become just one small blip in the course of his/her development. In many cases, it will be fine to start your search for help by surfing the web, reading books, talking with other parents of shy children and/or taking classes. But should these avenues fail or should you want more immediate help for your child, it's best to consult a qualified professional who has expertise and is familiar with resources in this area. 

Playgrounds

Modern playgrounds are safer, better designed, and better maintained than ever before. Why then are fewer children playing on them?

Playgrounds exist to provide children with a safe, fun, challenging environment in which they can play. They are a relatively recent phenomenon – at the turn of the 20th century children went to parks, but did not have a designated ‘playground’ area. As traffic increased throughout the 20th century, playgrounds became a safe alternative to the streets. Children are left with fewer options for places in which their parents are happy to let them play. The role of the playground in modern society is to provide children with all the developmental opportunities whilst minimising the risk of serious injury.

With increasing media attention on cases of injury , abduction or crime in society, parents are increasingly reluctant to let their children play outside and as a result children are rarely left to play unsupervised until they are at least 10. This fear, passed on from parents to children, prevents playgrounds from being used to their full advantage and deprives millions of young children the opportunities for physical, social and cognitive development that playgrounds offer, exacerbating developmental problems caused by lack of exercise and freedom.

Why are playgrounds important?

With obesity levels among children hitting record highs , there is little disagreement that physical activity needs to be prioritised. But the benefits of exercise go well beyond reduction of obesity - as well as burning calories, exercise is the single biggest preventative factor against depression.

When discussing what is best for children, a holistic approach to child development is likely to be the most beneficial as it is difficult to separate cognitive, social, and physical development. A playground provides a non-prescriptive environment where children can play and develop skills at their own pace. A well designed playground should include opportunities for cognitive development as well as physical and social development, but the chances are that if children are playing freely, they will be doing things which naturally develop a wide range of skills in all areas.

More than just physical health

Social development is now believed to be a precursor for cognitive development and playgrounds provide children with opportunities for cooperative play, modelling behaviour, conflict resolution, communication and turn-taking to name a few. Links between physical activity and cognitive development are also coming to light with increasingly sophisticated neuro-imaging techniques.

Traditionally, playgrounds were designed primarily for physical activity, with some consideration of social development. With increasing understanding of development, well-designed playgrounds can provide activities which stimulate development in a holistic way. For example, climbing activities which require children to cross their hands over increase the connectivity between the right and left hemispheres of the brain. Platforms of different heights strengthen muscles used in climbing and jumping, but also develop skills such as depth perception, risk assessment and an understanding of one’s own abilities and limitations.

What makes a good playground?

Differentiation and a wide range of play opportunities is essential. Young children feel more confident in small groups, so a modular design rather than a huge structure is likely to be more appealing. Equipment which provides for a variety of play styles (contemplative-imaginative, high adrenaline-physical, social-cooperative) and does so in a way that the children playing an imaginative game will not get jumped on by the adrenalin seekers is also likely to be popular.

In order for playgrounds to be used well, both parents and children need to approve of them and they need to appeal to of children of a wide range of ages. People are creatures of habit and if children are used to going to the playground from a young age, it is likely that they will continue to do so as they grow up. It is parents who determine the activities of pre-school children and so in order for the parents to want to take their children to the playground it needs to appeal to parents as well as children. Not only do parents need to feel confident in the equipment, they also need to be willing to be there themselves. If parents are provided with a place to sit and socialise with their friends, they are more likely to let their children have more freedom.

Not just for the children

Parents also need space from their children and a chat with their friends in the playground whilst their children are playing may give parents access to valuable support networks that can help prevent feelings of isolation and in some cases post-natal depression.

The parents’ area should be closest to the baby/toddler equipment to allow parents to socialise whilst supervising the children who most need attention. Older children should be given equipment which enables them to play without constantly being in sight of the parent’s area. As long as a child knows where the parent is, and feels confident that they can get attention if necessary, there is no need for constant supervision. 

Martial arts for children

Martial arts:  a fun way for both boys and girls to achieve fitness and focus. Some parents may think they also promote violence, but that's a myth, according to experts. The martial arts actually help teach self-discipline and socialization skills. In fact, many parents whose children have attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) report great success with these programs because self-control and concentration are exactly the skills underdeveloped in ADHD children.

A typical hour-long class begins and ends with a bow to the teacher, or master. After a warm-up, students practice the art's particular skills, which may include kicks, punches, and blocks. Each requires concentration and strict attention.

Progress is often marked by the belt system, which takes the beginner from a white belt through a variety of colours until black. Testing for each new level, generally every three months, is a good exercise in setting and achieving goals.

But, say experts, it's the respect kids learn, whether from bowing or standing still and waiting for the next command, that can be the most important benefit: it often carries over into school, helping to improve behaviour and even grades, according to recent research.

Class options

Here's a quick guide to help you choose the right class for your child.

Karate (Japanese)
A system of self-development using kicks and punches. Its quick, sharp actions involve snapping movements of the joints, which means that children need to warm up carefully.

Tae Kwon Do (Korean)
A form of karate developed as a military art, which has become one of the more popular martial arts world wide. It uses kicking and punching movements to energize the body and breathing and meditation techniques to provide focus.

Judo (Japanese)
Taught as a competitive sport, judo teaches children how to throw a partner using balance and leverage and helps them learn self-control and respect for their opponent.

Jujitsu (Japanese)
A competitive form of self defense that teaches students to use their opponent's weight and strength against him. Having a partner fosters cooperation.

Aikido (Japanese)
Uses many of the same movements as jujitsu but is gentler and non competitive. It, too, is an excellent discipline for teaching children how to work with a partner.

Kung Fu (Chinese)
A rigorous and physical form of karate that involves more fluid movements than its Japanese cousin, making it easier on joints. It's fast-paced, so children get an aerobic workout.

T'ai Chi (Chinese)
Focuses on balance, stretching, and weight-bearing moves. T'ai Chi is easy on the joints, boosts flexibility, and improves concentration skills.

Hiring a Tutor

Guidance on tutors - what they do, how they might benefit your child, and how to track down the right one.

What does a tutor do?

A tutor is a teacher you pay to work with your child, either on a one-to-one basis or as part of a small group. Usually the tutor focuses on a particular academic subject, or they may coach your child in a particular exam technique.

A tutor often helps a child who is struggling with their studies, or needs a boost to do better at school or do well in an exam (perhaps an entrance exam or a particular subject at GCSE or A-level). But sometimes a tutor is taken on to stretch a child with an exceptional ability in a subject.

Because the tutor is working with your child in a more focused way than would be possible in a class of 25 or 30 children, a lot can often be achieved in a short time. But tutors can be expensive - they can charge around £30-£60 an hour.

Could my child benefit from tutoring?

Many children benefit from having a tutor at some point in their education.  Below are common circumstances in which a tutor is hired.

Some children are academically advanced and are not sufficiently challenged in school.  Sometimes, these students, who may attend schools that do not offer gifted programs, become bored with their coursework and ultimately lose interest.  Their grades begin to slip as a result.  Parents who observe that their child is academically advanced and insufficiently challenged in school can proactively address potential boredom by hiring a tutor to provide additional coursework, something more challenging and interesting for the child.

Some children absorb information better when taught one-on-one.  By hiring a tutor, who provides one-on-one instruction, the child can be provided the one-on-one assistance needed to thrive in the traditional classroom.

Some children do not feel comfortable in the highly structured environment that is the traditional classroom.  As a result, these children may struggle with coursework: not because they lack the capacity to grasp the material, but because the learning environment is not appropriate for them.  By creating a different learning environment, a more open and flexible environment, these children often thrive academically.  A tutor can provide that different learning environment.  While these children may never be comfortable in a highly structured environment, they will, with the help of a tutor, be given the opportunity to learn their coursework and graduate successfully.

Some children may be struggling to understand some of their coursework.  Teachers in a traditional classroom cannot slow the instruction if one student is lagging, so there may be times when a student feels left behind in the classroom.  Hiring a tutor to provide additional instruction and help the child grasp the material in the coursework can help the student catch up with his/her classmates and successfully pass his/her class. 

Most children seek help with their homework, often from their parents.  However, some parents have trouble teaching their own children.  Perhaps the parents did not take the courses the children are now taking, so the parents simply do not have the knowledge base  to provide the help that the children seek.  Or perhaps the children are more receptive to academic instruction from someone other than their parents (most children go through a phase where parents are deemed NOT in-the-know).  By  hiring a tutor, a child can receive the homework assistance he/she needs from someone who knows the material and is regarded by the child as knowledgeable in the subject matter.

For these and many other reasons, tutors can be a successful addition to a child's academic resources.

How to find the right tutor

Many different people work as tutors. They include:

• Teachers who want to earn extra cash
• Retired teachers
• University and college students, or recent graduates.
  

Many work through a tutoring agency. To find an agency in your area, search online. You can also ask your child’s teacher, or other parents, to recommend an agency or a tutor.

Tutors have different styles and approaches to working. It’s worth thinking about what approach you feel would work for your child, and talking it through with a possible tutor. You should also think about where the tutoring would take place. Some tutors come to you, while others work in their own homes. What would best suit you and your child?

It’s vital to make sure a private tutor has had a CRB (Criminal Records Bureau) check. Remember, you are placing your child in a vulnerable position, and you must do all you can to ensure the tutor can be trusted. Don’t take anyone else’s word for it - check them out yourself.

What to look for in a tutor

You will anticipate hiring a tutor for your child, but where do you begin?  What do you need to be looking for in a tutor?  Below is a list of traits, skills, and credentials that you will want to seek.

1.  Education beyond the grade level of your child.  Some parents prefer a tutor with at least a Bachelor's degree as these parents prefer an advanced body of knowledge in a tutor.  Other parents prefer hiring a student who is perhaps only a year or two older than their child as these parents think their child may be more receptive to peer-level tutoring.

2.  Experience in educating or tutoring, especially in the subject matter(s) on which your child seeks tutoring. 

3.  Teaching style.  Some tutors use a structured method of instruction while other tutors use a more informal approach to tutoring.  What style works best with your child? 

4.  Reliability.  You need to know that your tutor will show up when expected, tutor for the full time expected (typically an hour), and will depart when expected.

5.  Patience.  Your tutor should be patient as your child goes through the learning curve.

6.  Honesty.  Your tutor should not misrepresent information to you or your child.  Further, your tutor should not misappropriate items from your home.

Your child will likely also have a set of expectations for his/her tutor.  Thus, you should include your child in the selection of the tutor as doing so increases the likelihood of success of the tutoring match.  At www.londongoverness.com we have a huge data of respectable, successful and checked tutors.  So, far we have received only praise for their effort and dedication.

Learning Math

As a parent, you are there to give your child their first experiences of maths: from sorting toys to baking cakes, from going shopping to learning to ride a bike (and if you're wondering about the maths in riding a bike, just think about speed, distance, balance, wheels etc - it's all maths!).

Even if you don’t feel confident with maths, you can still make a huge difference to your child’s numeracy confidence and ability.

Key Points

• Helping your child feel positive about maths is really important and it’s something every parent can do.
• Maths is everywhere – pointing this out helps children understand the importance of maths, and enjoy it too.
  
  

What is numeracy about?

Being numerate is a life skill that will help your child at home, at school, and one day in their work lives too.

At all levels learning maths is about solving problems, thinking logically and being creative in finding ways of working things out.

A good understanding of numeracy will help your child with everyday tasks like

• Solving problems
• Making decisions
• Understanding information.
  
  

For everyone, for life

Numeracy is still important even after children leave school. Children with good numeracy skills are more likely to

• Stay in education longer!
  
  

The importance of children’s early experiences

A child’s early experiences with maths can affect how they feel about maths throughout their lives.

In the UK it’s really common to hear people saying ‘I can’t do maths’. But we know that every child can learn to do maths - and also that every parent can too. There are lots of things you can do to help build your child’s skills and confidence – and your own too.

What you can do to help your child

The most important thing to do is help your child to feel positive about maths and have fun with it whenever possible.

In the UK people are often negative about maths and this makes it harder for children to understand the reasons why we need to learn maths. Follow our top tips and help your child develop maths confidence.

1. Don’t say things like ‘I can’t do maths’ or ‘I hated maths at school’… your child might start to think like that themselves…
   
2. Do talk about the maths in everyday life, and ask your child how they work out problems or questions.
   
3. Do praise your child for effort, rather than talent.
   
4. Do use time at home to practice practical maths like shopping or cooking.
   
5. Do challenge yourself – the more confident you feel, the more you’ll be able to help your child.
   

The other really important thing is to give your child the opportunity to use and talk about maths every day. This will help them to become a mathematical problem solver, and develop lifelong skills such as:

• Sorting – into groups, into order, and comparing
• Measuring
• Calculating – adding, subtracting, multiplying, dividing etc
• Organising and understanding information
• Looking for patterns and relationships between numbers
• Making sense of and checking information – learning to ask ‘is this answer sensible’?
• Communicating and presenting information
  

Children learn maths best through activities and tasks where they have to make choices in order to solve a problem or a puzzle and where they can explore and talk about their ideas and approach to the problem. The more variety they experience with maths, the more comfortable they will feel.

Moving to big bed

 

Your toddler may have a sense of freedom the first few nights after transferring permanently to a bed. Luckily, most children are happy to “graduate” and stay in their beds more willingly than they did in their cribs. However, for a few, the transition has to be managed closely. The best way is to continue with the same bedtime routine you have used since your child first joined the family.

Repeat the Following Steps:

1. When you end a routine tell your child to stay in bed until you come for her.
2. If she gets out of bed, calmly and quietly lead her back and tell her she must stay in bed.
3. When she gets back into bed, reward her by telling her briefly what a good girl she is for being there, then leave the room.
4. Tell her that you will come and check on her during the night. For some children it provides reassurance.
 

Prepare Yourself for a Bedtime Struggle

But don’t kid yourself that the struggle is over. Be prepared to repeat steps 1 and 2 as many times as you have to for several nights in a row. Twenty “farewell appearances” in one evening is by no means an unusual number. Above all, stay calm and keep interactions with your child on a low-key level; they should be brief and boring. The aim is to reward her with praise for staying in bed and not for getting out. Children tend to feel, that any attention is better than none. If getting out of bed brings your toddler extra attention—even negative attention, by making you angry—she’ll do it again and again. By contrast, if you keep the atmosphere quiet and even boring, the excitement of getting out will soon pale. 

Avoid Rewarding Bedroom Breakouts

While respecting your toddler’s new found mobility, insist on the rule that once it’s time for sleep, people have to stay in bed until morning unless they have to go to the bathroom. Avoid rewarding bedroom breakouts, such as by allowing your child to climb into your bed or join the members of the family who are still up. Instead, praise her in the morning for having stayed in bed all night.