Effective discipline for children

The word discipline means to impart knowledge and skill – to teach.

 

Goals of effective discipline

Discipline is the structure that helps the child fit into the real world happily and effectively. It is the foundation for the development of the child’s own self-discipline. Effective and positive discipline is about teaching and guiding children, not just forcing them to obey. As with all other interventions aimed at pointing out unacceptable behaviour, the child should always know that the parent loves and supports him or her. Trust between parent and child should be maintained and constantly built upon.

Parenting is the task of raising children and providing them with the necessary material and emotional care to further their physical, emotional, cognitive and social development.

Disciplining children is one of the most important yet difficult responsibilities of parenting, and there are no shortcuts. Teaching about limits and acceptable behaviour takes time and a great deal of energy.

The goal of effective discipline is to foster acceptable and appropriate behaviour in the child and to raise emotionally mature adults. A disciplined person is able to postpone pleasure, is considerate of the needs of others, is assertive without being aggressive or hostile, and can tolerate discomfort when necessary.

The foundation of effective discipline is respect. The child should be able to respect the parent’s authority and also the rights of others. Harsh discipline such as humiliation (verbal abuse, shouting, name-calling) will also make it hard for the child to respect and trust the parent.

Thus, effective discipline means discipline applied with mutual respect in a firm, fair, reasonable and consistent way. The goal is to protect the child from danger, help the child learn self-discipline, and develop a healthy conscience and an internal sense of responsibility and control. It should also instill values.

One of the major obstacles to achieving these goals is inconsistency, which will confuse any child, regardless of developmental age. It can be particularly hard for parents to be consistent role models.

Discipline is about changing behaviour, not about punishing children. Discipline allows children to develop self-discipline, and helps them become emotionally and socially mature adults.

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